“Domestic Violence is the only crime where the victim is asked to explain themselves more than the abuser.”
Sharing my story to bring awareness to domestic abuse, help survivors recognize warning signs, and provide hope for those rebuilding their lives.
My mission is to bring awareness to domestic abuse, educate others about unhealthy relationship dynamics, and help survivors find the strength to heal and move forward.
Abuse does not always begin with violence. Sometimes it begins with charm, affection, and being swept off your feet. It can feel as though you have met someone who understands you completely—someone who shares your values, dreams, and desires. You may believe you have found your soulmate. That is what makes unhealthy patterns so difficult to recognize when the relationship begins to change.
Nine days after the man I believed I would spend the rest of my life with asked my father for my hand in marriage—and just nine days before my birthday—my world changed.
For the first half of our relationship, we only saw each other a few times a week, and the relationship often felt magical. However, whenever I raised a concern, communication would often break down and the relationship would end. Later, he would return apologizing, reaching out repeatedly, and assuring me that things would be different. Because there were periods of improvement and many meaningful moments, I continued to give the relationship another chance.
During the last half of our relationship, we spent nearly every day together.
I built a life around someone with whom I shared dreams, plans, and a vision for the future. I helped support a business, cared for family members during times of illness, cooked meals, maintained our home, helped raise puppies, and invested myself fully into the life we were building together. I chose the engagement ring and designed the home we hoped to share, every single detail. I poured my heart into building a future.
At some point, I believed I had found a good man—not perfect, but good. Someone who claimed to have healed and moved on from past relationships, embraced his faith, and was committed to being a devoted father, partner, and one-woman man. He spoke often about loyalty, honesty, character, and commitment. Those values were central to the person I believed him to be and the future I believed we were building together.
We had also reached a level of comfort and trust where we regularly used each other’s phones, and I had no reason to believe there were significant issues within the relationship that had not already been addressed.
Over time, however, the reality I experienced felt increasingly different from the relationship I believed we had and the future I thought we were building together.
In the end, the reality I experienced was completely different from who he claimed to be.
